i'm back from mahjong-ing! ahhhh! i think i'm addicted to it!
but wont be meeting the guys for some time alrdy. so it was sort of the last mahjong session, and i sure will miss playing mahjong with them. sighs. hope we can meet up again for mahjong soon!

have been meeting jk almost everyday this week i realised. and suddenly, i probably wont be able to do so. just feels weird and funny. haha. how we didnt meet at all, then suddenly so often and now, back to not meeting again. a unique friendship i have indeed. and the way we talk and crap with each other, and how much i can talk what's on mind infront of him, every little things, it seems like we have been friends for like 10 years.

while mahjong-ing, some memories and flashbacks appeared on my mind. and i just smiled in my heart. yet at the same time, i felt a pinch in my heart. i was suddenly reminded on that particular occassion when i went down after school to look for them playing mahjong.

with a hairband on his hair, and half naked, there he was, sitting facing the door. from the moment i reached, and for the next few minutes, he didnt bother about me. he just continued to play the game, not even looking at me. when the game ended, he pulled open to show me his drawer, and there had lots of chips. he had won alot. and then, he took a tile, turned back and look at me with a stare, then smiled.

a smile tt represented him.
a smile tt i know will not see on others.
a smile tt i loved and fell in love with at the stairs.
it was just a smile i have always loved.
it was just an unique smile.
he got what he wanted. he won again.

the next game, he took a tile, and it was what he wanted. he kissed the tile. retard as it may sound, i thought it was cute. i just looked and laughed at him, thinking what a cute darling i have. and then, he put his arms around my waist and i felt as if i was the luckiest girl. we had a tiff before that, and i knew, with tt embrace, everything was fine. after tt game, we had dinner together. we walked to 883 to get ciggs, and i didnt mind walking the distance, simply cos i had his hands in mine, and i loved tt feeling, tt i didnt mind staying out later and walking up and down. i wont forget how he stood in the middle of the road, waving goodbye to me. i felt love all over again. i thought everything was beginning to turn for the better.

do you remember all these at all?

sometimes i just dont know what to say.
are memories really good or bad?
does it give false hopes? or are these what keeps us going?
whatever it is, i know i love these memories.

anyway, desmond came after work to look for me at jk's house. was surprised tt he really came all the way down when he could just head home lah. he's pro at mahjong! so we stayed till 2 plus then he drove me back! i rode on a bike! the feeling is superb! the wind blowing against your face, it's nice!

i'm tired but i want to blog. haha. and i know the reason why. =)
but i aint telling you! lols.

thanks for coming down, really. i saved alot on cab fare! anyway, it's really appreciated lah, when you could just head home and be home so much earlier. i really dont know how many times i will need to say thank you for the care that you're showering me with. you have been showering me with your care since i was 15 when we were still at rs? 4 years. a big thank you to you. =)

[ edit at 4.05am ]
i was chatting with you, and you mentioned we havent met for 3 months. and i realised the last time we met was on 23 june, my bday. you were the first to celebrate it with me. i havent thanked you for that. thank you. =) and i will grow fatter soon.

brianna
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