one happy note:
my pay for that 3 days work at suntec has been banked in!
at least i wont be so broke, surviving on that mere 20 bucks.
pay isnt tt much, but at least, i know it will be easier for me to tide by with more money! =)

friday
went to esplanade for an interview with fy and melissa's company. the person was impressed that i worked at pastamania for 3 years, haha, and even tested me on italian food. and so, i got the job! congrats! i will be working with steven, and he stays so near me, can go home together!

after the interview, headed to beach road in weng weng's rented car. hurhur. went there to eat ckn rice and it was really nice lah! the nicest ckn rice i ever eaten. cos normally when you see roasted ckn, the meat will be abit rough, not so tender, but their was so damn smooth! i finished every bit of it lah. haha.

went up to army market to walk walk and i saw abercrombie slippers! ahhh! so damn nice and cost 15 bucks only! but i didnt buy. -_- yes, you didnt see wrongly! i didnt buy! why? cos i need to watch my spending! but i swear i will go back to get them once i'm financially stable!

weng weng drove us back to town and me and fy went to cineleisure, melissa went for her interview. even though i'm quite broke, i spent 4 bucks on dawn and fy! haha. with the turn turn things again. haha. fy was attracted to the twin star thingy and i got it for her! happy fy!

after that, headed to heerens! and we saw jun! scandalous with not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 guys! haha! caught in the act. nah, jun isnt so scandalous lah! saw felica too, haha. have heard about her, seen her pictures, but saw her in real person. quite pretty with big eyes! and she just happens to be jun's friend. haha, isnt tt always the case, everyone is connected to everyone.
haha.

then we pulled jun to take neoprints with us! and we waited for melissa so we could take together! while waiting, we took some pictures too! haha.


pretty neoprints! after that, melissa went off with kang to a gathering, fy went to meet jia and ningxi, and i went to meet clement to head to jk's house.

mahjong again. yeah. jk's face was still as black as ever, he was still as moody as ever lah. just wondered what happened lah. but he refused to say, kept saying nothing nothing. the atmosphere wasnt quite the same. but somewhere through the game, hyper jk returned! and we were back at suaning each other and i saw the smiles on his face! haha. though he said i needed a make over, bleahs, i was glad tt he was back to his normal self!

went back quite early cos detong had smth on. reached home around 1am and jk called. was talking about some stuffs, and we came to that topic. and i just felt he was so silly. i dont know why, i just couldnt believe tt he'd do such stuffs so that others would be happier. my doubts were cleared and i was glad tt the reason why he didnt sms me nor call me was cos of smth else. he's silly cos, he'd rather him be unhappy and the people around him be happy.

whatever it is, i dont care. you dont have to let me go as a friend cos of him. you are old enuf to choose your friends dont you? and you have the rights to do so? and moreover, i met you first. who cares whether he likes it or not. and please please please, stop match making me with him. and if wanted to have supper tgther, and you're hungry, why cos of him not come. it's plain stupid la. you know i'd rather head home with an empty stomach than to eat with him. please dont be silly anymore and chase me away. if it's cos of him, and you chase me away again, i'll really come after you. you know how much i treasure the bond we have right, tt's why i was so damn affected when you went off that day. tts how much you mean, meanie toad. =)

so we chatted till 4am or so, i think. and he went to sleep. listened to the radio till i dozed off. good nights!

saturday
woke up and was slacking with i received a call about the interview i had. and they asked me to head down at 530pm. i was like, wth, it's 4pm alrdy lah. so quickly washed up and headed down. the job was okay, but was busy like hell. and i think i lost weight running up and down lah. haha. worked till 1am, then had supper with steven. had bbq stingray just outside esplanade there. it was nice! yay.

took cab back tgther, since steven can claim from the company. reached home around 3am, and had a chat with my mommy while watching tv. haha. and i'm felt great! has been some time since we sat down and talked for this long.

mommy was silly today, haha. she wanted to call her friend, christina and she called chris instead. hurhur. so we came to talk about me and chris too. hurhur again. and i finally told her the reason why we broke up. have been lying to her all these while, didnt want her to worry, and also didnt want her impression of chris to change. so just said cos we didnt suit each other and stuffs, but last night, when she asked, i just told her everything. from beginning, middle to end. even the sweetest things he did, the mean things i did, everything. haha.

mommy gave me her point of view, and i'm glad i made a choice to prevent the worst from happening. haha. sometimes it just irks me lah.

anyway, i saw this somewhere, and i thought it was meaningful.

"if it wouldn't stir your heart when you talk about it, then you're healed. just like now as i'm telling you about it, it wouldn't stir my heart."

i guess i'm quite healed, cos i am no longer affected as i'm telling my friends all these and i know, i will be a happy single lady with great friends around me! =)

be happy for me that i have came to realise all these came to nought.
be happy for me that i've decided to let you go.
the once beautifully painted picture will be hung on the wall, and never be removed. your place in my heart will be kept in that corner where all my memories stay. we do not know what the future holds, but i wish you happiness from here on. thanks for everything you have given, thanks for the love you once gave. all these and more, will stay. you may not care or want to be friends, but i do still, and you're a special friend. and in fact, you're still my precious. and it's time to stop biting your teeth alrdy, your teeth might be broken you know? haha. since you're sick, please take care and drink lots of water. should be exams period, jia you!

tears of heaven, this is for you. =)
what you are going through is one of the worst nightmares isnt it? i have been through that just a couple of weeks back. trust me, make a decision yourself and not let him lead you blindly. else the hurt will be deeper. if you do like the way he is doing things, do things your way. you're right to say that i'm trying to slap reality onto your face, to make you realise what an ass he is. how could someone be so mean and do these just for his own favour? has he ever spared a thought for you? he doesnt knows what you want, what you need. being someone who smses you one day, then go missing on another, appearing as and when he likes, it just shows what a jerk he is. if things continue the way it was tt day, you will just cause yourself more hurt and pain emotionally.

thomas told me this, even if you want to fight for your happiness, even if you want to wait for that person, open your eyes and see, ask yourself, is that person worth it? is that person worth fighting for? before this, i thought it wasnt wrong to wait and fight for my own happiness. but perhaps i was wrong. we shouldnt waste our efforts and time on people who do not appreciate us, who aint worth it. they will just feel great cos they know we need then, they wont appreciate us, and so, whats the point of fighting?

and as i have told you, there is someone out there who deserves you more than he does. and that someone will bring you smiles and not tears. and rmber this, if someone really loves you, they wouldnt let you go no matter what comes in the way. they would want to overcome any problems together, they wouldnt want to end the r/s just cos of problems. they will fight till the end.

with all these facts, face reality girl.
career, friends, you.
where do you stand? you know it yourself.
just let go, and you'll find yourself happier.
loads happier.
tough, i know. but would you rather be in this position you are with till feb next year? i dont think you can take it. you have your friends, your ke ai mommy, and me! and when you asked what i'd do when i feel heartache, i'd say, in the first place, dont allow heartache to take place. dont look through the photos or smses, keep them aside first. i know memories will just flow it. if you need, cry out. you'll feel better, but follow me eh? haha, just to keep yourself occupied with activities and you wont have tt much time to think about it!

we will meet up this week okay?
and i wanna hear you have been getting on well and happy.
=) =) =) =) =)
smiles for you!
take care pretty lady!
and why you havent come online? i have waited for so long alrdy!

brianna
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