I wanted to blog late last night, but i was busy talking to cherlyn heng about work and bitching about someone,till i got too tired to blog. Today, i was supposed to head to baby's house to tutor his sister at 730, but lesson ended so early, for the first time i must say. So headed over and his mum was surprised to see me that early, haha, one and a half hours early! Did my work on his lappy and i thought i could listen to some music while blogging, but then, i saw something that stopped me from blogging yet again.

It isnt anything about baby lying or him doing things behind my back. It was just pictures of baby and verton, his ex girlfriend. Baby dont really tell me much about past relationships. I dont ask him why, but i suppose to him, the present and future matters more than his past. I dont know how to describe the feeling when i saw the photos and the names of the photos. You can call it jealously, i suppose. Because when i saw baby with another girl, with his arms over hers, i just didnt feel good.

Though that's his past, and everyone has a past, and at that point of time, i didnt even know baby yet, i just didnt feel good. I understand all these facts, but but but, i just felt depressed for a moment. It wasnt that of anger or disappointment, i just wished i knew this baby much earlier, wished i met him way back. But then, after thinking for a moment, i knew i felt like this because baby mattered alot to me, and what about him?

Some weeks ago, while at gelare, i rmbered baby was flipping thru my wallets when he saw some pictures of me with chris. I havent realised at all that i havent removed them. But baby didnt say a word, or show any signs of jealousy, and he could continue joking and laughing with me. Did i matter or did i not? Because i think, if i were to see pictures of baby and his ex girlfriend in his wallet after being together for months, i'd have thrown a temper. So was baby even affected? I dont know.

Sometimes i just wonder, is it good or bad that we go thru some relationships first before settling down? Or is it better for the first guy to be your last? I always thought memories were part of our lives, and till now, i still strongly believe in this. But then, wouldnt memories with the one and only be better?

Like zhen. Her boyfriend may be handsome and the kind of guys that girls will go crazy over, but he hasnt had any girlfriend at all, and zhen is his first. Doesnt that mean he'd only have memories of her? And i was being selfish and thinking, how good it'd be if i was baby's first girlfriend. And then, he wouldnt have any memories with anyone else. Selfish i know, but that's how much i heart this boy.

If you were to ask me to give my all my memories for anything in the past, i'm very sure i wouldnt. But for this boy, i'd readily say yes. Because nothing matters more than this baby i adore so much now.

Enough said, if you are thinking baby and i are facing some problems, we arent :) We are still strong and very much crazy over each other. Heh. We have done pretty much silly things as usual, but we are happy!

We headed down to Hougang because baby figured out that was the only place we havent explored together! Haha. There wasnt much exciting things and we headed to toa payoh because baby said there was much more things to shop for, and guess what? We took a bus down, and he had his waffle and we headed to his place. It was damn lame, because we could have just gone to his place from hougang!

Baby also found the nike tee he has been searching for at Northpoint sportslink. Though it wasnt the colour he wanted, but he liked it nevertheless, so i was nice and sponsored him 30 bucks. And the uncle gave him 10% discount! Haha.

Since we got together, baby's wardrobe has been piling up with clothes! And he's been buying nike tops and levi's jeans. Not as though he's damn rich, but baby doesnt mind spending on something he likes, and i wont stop him because i know i'd do the same! Haha.

But then, i dont know if it was cos i once told him before i dont like my boyfriend to dress shabbily, and that's why he has been shopping for more and more tops.

A couple of days back, i read from a blog that she and her boyfriend were supposed to head to bugis, but cos he was wearing jeans with slippers, she didnt want to. She didnt like guys dressing her shabbily going to such places with her. I cant rmber whose blog it was, but i felt exactly the same way as her.

If you're going out with your partner, cant you respect your date and dress nicely? At least, presentably? Each time i meet baby, whether we are going to town or just somewhere for dinner, i'd want to be at my best so he can be proud of me and not let him have the feeling like "i dont want people to know she's my girl, so xia suay!"

I have had such experiences. Because he was dressed so shabbily, i refused to be any closer to him. I didnt want people to know i'm his girlfriend. I'm not referring to baby of course, the point is make yourself look good with your partner lah!

And then there are guys who dress well but character is like shite. Seriously, i dont understand why such people exist, and how such people can have girls loving them. They just aint worth it at all. I very much would like to caution these victims-to-be but i remind myself these are none of my business, and so, i'll just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. I'd very much love to see their expressions when they hear what these guys did, but then i shant and instead, shall see if these happen to them as well. Heh, i sound damn mean, but be mean to me, and i'll return you double. Boo.

Cherlyn was telling me about why let these people affect my mood when i can very much be happier without it. And i found the reason why i was affected. It was because i still treat these people as my friends and someone i heart, but then, when you finally allow yourself to be harsh and mean, that these friends mean no shite, and just end the bloody so called friendship, whatever they do will not be able to affect you.

And tada! I've done so, because for the first time in my life, i did something so brave! Heh. I dont think i want to state names here, because i will only do so when i have another mood! Haha. So keep guessing who is the bastard here eh?

It has been a long post, because i havent been blogging for damn long. I'll be staying home the whole day tmr, and it has been a long time staying home. I kind of like the feeling of not working for 4 days, heh.

And vincent called me some days back for supper! And i was so happy hearing from him! Heh. I'm glad he's fine and well, and the next day, he was still crapping with me the whole morning i was at work. His smses made me laugh, and if stepping into Al Dente was a mistake, knowing this fellow makes up for all the bad things. He's the best that happened to me at Al Dente :)

And this reminds me that i met up with john kung and maddie with baby for dimsum! And it was damn good! The egg tarts were woah! The nicest i have ever tasted :) And the roasted duck were just fabulous lah! I love these Al Dente people, and i think it's high time we make time for mahjong soon!

Ah fy is in taiwan now, for work purposes. And i just found out she did sms me before leaving, but i didnt receive any smses! And ah boy called me to ask why didnt i reply any of his smses, but the thing is, i havent received any smses! And brother was also complaining i aint replying his smses! There's smth wrong with my phone? But i have been receiving smses from cher, baby and everyone? So is there anything wrong with my phone? Hurhur. I dont know.

Anyway, fy and i had a small conflict the other day over a supper stupid and lame issue. But i'm glad all was over within hours. I havent met up with fy or melissa since our steamboat in feb. Was supposed to meet for lunch, but it got screwed. I shall date them soon. Heh.

Alright, i think i've blogged enough.
I have blogged whatever that came to my mind.
Not all feelings were blogged though.

Good night! =)

brianna
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