This is the words that i want to say after reading it.

Thanks for making my eyes water reading the post.

No, infact i just cried.

But then, besides disappointment, i'm feeling numb.

Besides you in this family, i thought you were the one who understood me, the things i do and why i do it. But it seems like even you dont think the same way as me now.

You even stated i'm wasting my life away, playing and doing nothing.

Some questions to ask yourself before you comment any further.

Do you think i enjoy working that much till 3am everyday?

Maybe you dont even think i'm working.

Do you think it never once crossed my mind that she's alone at home?

You think i dont give a damn at all.

Do you think i dont fucking care about my future or my studies?

I'm just crapping around school?

Think the way you want as her, i dont care, seriously.

Because in this family, things have alrdy changed since ages ago.

Just think, when was the last time we even had dinner together?

If i dont bother, when you left for camp and i had to work till 1am, i wouldnt have called her to ask her to take her dinner herself, not wait up for me. I wouldnt rush home after school so she wouldnt be alone. But too bad, she was out with friends. But then, did any of you see this? Or even know i had this in mind?

If i didnt bother, would i have taken off on saturday wanting to ask you guys out for dinner? It isnt just cos of the handphone thing, the main idea was for us to have dinner together.

Everyone has a reason for doing smth, and my reason for working is to support myself, so at least the money that daddy earns can be spent on you and mum. And since now i have a chance to work more hours till 3am, why cant i do it? I do buy things for myself, but havent you realised i've cut down alot since ages ago? How often do you see me buying clothes now? I can tell you honestly, i bought just one piece last month.

If you say i'm not filial, think again.

Other than not being home most of the time, do i ask pocket money from our parents, or money when i'm going out to play? To pay my bills?

You should know how much my insurance is a month, and i know mummy cant afford to keep it up, so where should the money come from to maintain it if i dont work?

I dont club, neither do i drink nor smoke.

All is do is mahjong sometimes, and going out with friends.

The times i stay up to do my work, the times i'm travelling alone thinking about this family, do any of you guys know?

Deep down, do you think i love to see daddy working late into the night? I know how badly he wants to watch the worldcup, yet he cant even do so.

So is working bad?

To stop working, and ask them to pay all my expenses, do you think they can even afford?

You asked if i have done my part for this family and if i have met up to their expectations.

I dare say i have done my part for this family. Go find someone who has been working to support herself since her o' levels. What are their expectations? Just expecting me to go to Uni after poly, isnt that the case?

Why cant she be like other parents, let them do what they like and want?

I dont even want to go Uni, i know my forte isnt in my studies. I have many other things that i want to learn besides just studying the books, does she understand?

No she doesnt.

Her mentality is just get into Uni and you'll find a good job.

Get into this society, and you will know the truth.

Seriously, are you even happy?

No, i'm not when i'm home.

I go over to nic's place for dinner.

And do you know how much i admire he can talk so freely to his parents as if they are friends? Their family isnt one like ours, where we are just restricted to our own thoughts. I rather have a family where we can talk about our life and personal things, rather than just studies and studies.

The laughters and jokes they say and share, doesnt exist in this family.

I dont blame daddy, we all know what his character is like.

I dont blame mummy either. I know she wants the best for us.

But then, can any of you spare a thought for the things i'm going through?

Dont just make me out to the bad guy.

And thanks for bringing these to my attention, and making the effort.

Please do not tell me these in future, because it hurts me so much that the tears cant stop flowing, knowing everyone in this family thinks nothing of me. It just pains me badly, seriously.

You wouldnt want to see me now.

As for you, you know how well she expects from you in your studies. Fufill her expectations, i know i cant. At least she'd be happy that her younger daughter makes her proud.

That's all i have to say.