Someone asked me, what am i going to do about it.
I told her, just cry my hearts out.
And she asked, why are you still bearing with it?

And it struck me hard. Why am i bearing with these feelings?
Your girlfriend isnt feeling good, and all you can say is you're tired and dont feel like coming out. Is it really that difficult to come out, especially since you know your girlfriend is not feeling good and she even called to ask you out.

I can understand if you're tired and dont want to travel, but even so, what about phone calls or smses? Even when you said you're keeping me company online, look at what happened. Look back at your history and look at the way you answered.

Was that considered company?
Or was it making me feel better? Or worst?
I can tell you that you made me feel worst.
Your answers made me feel i did not matter one bit, not even one bit, that you are not affected the least, and that i'm alone.

Else why did you you reply the way you did. So what if for 364 days you make me feel i'm important and that i mattered, just 1 day of otherwise, can ruin everything.

It's just like how years of marriage can go down the drain with just one mistake made.

If you're really that tired, then why are you still online watching your shows? Why arent you in bed or what not? It's just a matter or whether you want to or not.

Being a girl, when something like this happens, what does it show you? It just, really diasppoints me.

After all that i said, all you can say is you're tired, or you dont know what to say, or you're tired of quarrelling.

It isnt like we are always quarrelling, just once and you say you're tired. It is always like this. Do you think i love quarrelling with you? I tried communicating to you, i told you my unhappiness, but look at your replies. Or rather, did you even reply at all? You're not the least affected that i'm not feeling fine and that really disappoints me.

I have said what i wanted to say. And there is really nothing else i can say or want to say. I dont even want to tell you how bad the tears are falling cus it doesnt matter, and it'd just make me feel like a fool. And in case you didnt know, i didnt go to work today was partly becus i wanted to go out with you. Just ask yourself this. Dont you think you could have done more than what you did?

If i got to be independent, i'd be.
And right now, i'm starting to learn to be one.

brianna
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