If you think i was talking to you in a rather harsh manner that might have pissed you off, put yourself in my shoes.

I'm helping you as much as i can, cus i dont want to see you fail that module. Attendance is bad enough and i definately want to help you pull up the grades with this project. But imagine you entertaining yourself with movies and msn and everything else, except offering to help in your own project. All you do is to ask me to help you do it cus the dateline is approaching. At least, that's what i see.

And when i'm in doubt, every answer that i get is, a simple i dont know. I really cant help but ask myself, is it really cus you do not know, or is it cus you simply cant be bothered?

Not that i'm blaming you, but it makes logical sense that since it's your project, the least you should do is to just read up and at least, know something about that topic? If you do not know how to do, i cant blame you, cus the fact is you dont know. But if you show some effort that you want to do well, or at least you care for the project, rather than just saying i dont know and not do anything about it, i really wouldnt be feeling this pissed.

Saying that you dont have their contacts, and not that you dont want to ask, is it really that difficult to ask your lecturer? It is stated in the assignment sheet you can email him if you've any doubts.

It's frustrating as it is, to be doing something i know nuts about and yet, having no one to turn to. The information provided is so vague, not even enough to do up 3 slides. Sorry if i lost my temper on you, but i was just stating the facts.

And it doesnt help that after mentioning about this matter, you just say you've got to sleep cus you've to be up early tmr. Have got nothing to say since it's true that you've to be up early. But leaving me online alone to do your work?

And no sort of encouragement or good night sms to make me feel, at least a little better? Was expecting my phone to beep, receiving a sms from you, but none came. I really wished that at that point in time, you'd have smsed me to buck up, or saying a thank you or whatever. At least you bothered to sms rather than heading straight to bed.

So there you are sleeping peacefully, while i'm here helping you to do your work. Ask yourself if it is what i should be doing in the first place, what i ought to be doing, and if it's even the least fair to me. Can i not be pissed off?

You know how i've always complained to you about such project mates, how i work through the night and there they are sleeping, and they getting the credit. You know how pissed i am or how i would be. I dont wish for any credit in this case, but i didnt want you to be like those project mates i detest working with.

If you dont know something, at least show you're concerned with that matter, rather than just sitting back and doing nothing. This applies for everything in life, isnt that so?

2006 is ending, look at the promises you gave or the things you said.
Have you accomplished them?

I dont need presents or fabulous restaurants to dine at.
I just need you to honour the things you said.
Pushing them away over and over again, saying "yes i will write for you later, i confirm will."
How many times have you said that? And what has been done?

Is it that difficult to do something that seems so small to me?
It's just like lifting a pen and just writing afew words.
But then, i've figured out that it matters no more.
After saying it for so many times, i'm really tired of requesting for it again.
You've got my word that you wont hear me saying this again.

If during festive seasons, there's no presents or whatever, i can totally understand. But then, rmber the sms that you promised to send? I just wanted to receive that, so that i can keep it in the folder, but then, look what happened?

It isnt just cus we see each other often, then we can forget about sending to these people.

It's really, the thought that counts.
You may not have the ability to do what other guys are doing, and i dont mind at all, but then, buying a card, or sending a sms, isnt that costly, is it?

Whatever that's said, it's not said out of anger.
It's just what has been on my mind these while. And the anger has subsided.

I'm not complaining; just feeling utterly, utterly disappointed.


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To brother, i know i seldom see you online these days, but i'm sorry, i really dont feel like talking at all. Pissed isnt the word used to describe my feeling, i just dont feel like talking to anyone right now. I know i'd vent all my anger on you, and i dont want that to happen, so just let me be left alone.



--
As much as i'm not feeling in the best of moods, i still wished he was up companying me, rather than a friend. And though he was the one that spoilt my mood for the day, made me feel so disappointed, i dont know why, i just had the urge to sms him.

brianna
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