Some people appear to be strong, when they arent.
Some people arent strong, and they show it out.
Sometimes, i really wonder which category i belong to.

Reading elene's blog, i somewhat feel her pain.
It was what i felt back then. Totally understand where she is coming from.

Met up with josan today.
And she shared with me what happened btw david and her.
A long story with lots of ups and downs, things which i never knew, i knew it today. And i realised, it's really hard not to judge a book by it's cover.

Very often, people come to conclusion by reading stuffs, or seeing things.
Including me. Like how i thought her rs with david, i got the whole idea through her blog, but then, the behind the scenes? I know nuts, until today.
I guess, the process of other happenings, only they themselves know it.
Whatever it is, i just feel that, guys are perhaps all the same.

The words that david said, are so similar to the one nic said before.
And i just asked myself, are guys like this because they really love us, and they dont want to hurt us anymore, or are they just finding an excuse for themselves to call it quits?

They love saying we dont deserve them for all the bad things they have done, when they know we dont mind accepting their good and bad cos we love them.
They love saying they have hurt us enough and they think it's time to stop, but they wont say they want to continue the journey and will use the future to make up for the bad times.
They love saying things like they wish us happiness, when they know it's hard to find someone to replace them, when they themselves mean happiness to us.

Is that why god created males and females?
And to make males not being able to understand females and likewise?
Sighs.

Is it a curse, or is it just some season?
It seems like so many couples are breaking up in january 2007.
And like what mad says, do these people break up cos they want it to be a lonely valentine's day? It's approaching, and having been through whatever that happened, shouldnt you people be looking forward to spending this special day together? Valentine's Day is just another day, no doubt, but still, it's the season and the time where most couples make it an effort to spend this day together, so shouldnt it still be special?

Josan told me what a ROM consellor told her.

"A relationship will not be cherished if it did not go through bad times. Giving up is possible, because it's an easy way out."

But then, we still have to know that when it's time to give up, we still have to, doesnt it? :)
I dont know if it's right to use the word give up for my case. Rmber i said i made a decision back then, and that i am going to carry it out despite the outcome?

I carried out my decision, and i got the answer.
Though it wasnt the answer i wanted, it was an answer that made me realise, it's time to give up. But then, it's not cos it's the easy way out, but cos, i know it'd be better for both of us, at least for now?

Memories of him and the places we go to, still come looking for me.
Like today. I passed by The Cathy and i rmbered the last time we were there with my sis, we were there to watch The Eragon. And i just smiled thinking abt the ben&jerry ice cream wrapper that i was playing on his head. And i thought, we really dont know when are the "last times," dont we? We dont know if that's the last time we'd be meeting, if that's the last time we'd have the chance to call him baby or dear, or the last time we'd be going to this and that place. It made me realise that at some point in time, we all take things for granted. Only when things happen, then we tell ourselves we shld have done this and that, only to realise it's all too late.

We are too comfortable in our comfort zone, that we forget the little things they do that made us smile, that made us happy. We are too comfortable in our comfort zone, that we take it for granted as if it was their job to get it done. But can we not take things for granted? Sometimes i think it's just instilled in us humans, that we take things for granted once we're too comfortable with that someone.

For now, i'm leading my life pretty well.
Some come up to me and ask how i handle it so well, as if i aint affected at all. But the truth is, it's whether you want it or not. Once you set your heart to do something, you will acheive it :)

There are new people coming into my life now, and i guess it's a good thing too cos i meet new people. Some treat me really good like wilson, but i guess, with the past and history repeating itself time and time again, i've lost faith in love, and in the dictionary that i have now, there's no word called love and courage.

I've already lost the courage to love again, lost faith that there is true love, and i dont see myself being able to love like i did, or believe that he wont do this this this and this. And this is really the first time, that i find myself "single" for 3 weeks now. Everytime a rs end, i find myself in another one within weeks, as if he's there for me to treat as a substitute, but the fact is, perhaps i'm just using him to forget the past.

No matter how nice he treats me now, i can just say i appreciate it.
I cant find myself wanting to accept him yet.
And at times, i do feel bad. Boo.
The things he do, make my heart melt at times, and the surprises he gave, i just went woah.

But he's strong, and i know it through the smses we shared that night, and i just feel, he's really a freaking nice person lah. You'd never expect him to act in such a way, never. He seems so cool eh, but he can be really sweet. Haha.

So to everyone who has been asking me if i am with him, the answer is no.
We're good friends, very good friends, who meet up whenever he books out.
That's all. I dont know what will happen 3 months down the road, but for now, he's my pillar of strength who gives me the courage and motivation to let things go.

Whatever it is, i think i've grown up a little. Heh.

Alrights, back to the main purpose of blogging - posting up the peeekures! FINALLY.

FRIDAY @ RED CELLAR
Happy birthday mr kiasu!
It was the first time seeing him, and we helped him celebrate his 21st bday! :)




SATURDAY @ CINELEISURE
First it was suki sushi! :)



From left, Jeanine, Ah Boy, Ah Boy's brother, Kelvin

Dont you think they look DAMN alike?

brianna
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