I went shopping for cny stuffs today, with company of melissa and jia!
Nothing much attracted me, only bought a top and a pair of heels.
I bought my 1st ever 4 inch heels. People who knows me well enough knows i dont even wear covered shoes, let alone heels. But yeah, i still bought it anyway and i quite like it cos i look so much taller! :)

It's freaking tall lah!
But it matches the top i bought, so yea!

Hotcakes came to join us when his friend left.
Walked around town, finding stuffs to buy, but boo.
We were too tired to walk ard already lah.

After we parted with melissa and jia, we met joe for dinner and movies.
It's always fun having him around cos he makes us laugh.
And he just loves making fun of me.
Teasing me at everything he can!
Know what he calls me?
He calls me fatimah. HURHUR.

Before the movies, had 2 hours to kill and we went to the arcade.
And i saw nicholas from levi's! Not the nicholas i was wit, but another nicholas. Hurhur.
It's like a coincidental day today, cos i met madeline dearest while walking at taka too! Haha :) It was nice seeing her too! Heh. And the 1st thing she saw me was ask, if i am with hotcakes! And when i told her he's the one in grey, she gave a nod with a cheeky smile, dont know what it meant though!

So anyway, chatted with nicholas and his friend, brian! Haha. He was damn power lah, he just took the chair from somewhere and we sat down talking for 15 mins or more lah! He keeps beating me lah, for no reason and he said that is the way he is. Dots. And he might be signing up cable tv! Heh. Chatted other things too, and i think i was quite a fool, hearing the things he said. But oh wells, it's the past and who cares huh.

Watched the jack neo's movie :)
As usual, loads of laughters!
The indian man is damn hilarious lah! Haha.
Not a bad movie!

Been spending so much with with hotcakes that i think he hasnt had enough rest, cos of me. He has been so tired these days. And i somewhat feel the guilt. Boo. So after movies, no supper and we headed straight home. And i know the moment his head lied down, he fell asleep. Sweet dreams to him! But i still wanna thank for him spending so much time with me, though he forbids me to thank him. Haha.

It's eve of new year already.
How time flies. I still rmber last year's new year when i had to work at esplanade and i didnt even want to go celebrate new year, cos of the company i had at work. And the fireworks i was so in love with!

But till now, i still dont feel the new year mood.
Even walking up and down chinatown so often, i dont even feel the cny mood. Boo.
The songs used to set the mood, but now it's like so useless.

There are too many things running through my mind today, that i just sat at the bus stop and teared when the guys left. The feeling inside me is so freaking hard to describe. The fears and worries, the insercurities and unwanted thoughts, but who really knows what the hell i am feeling? There's only one person whom i can talk to, only one person who knows what is happening, but he wasnt there when i needed him.

What else can i say?
I cant blame him cos i know he has to set his piorities right.
I read through all the letters he gave to me while doing spring cleaning just now.
And i still smiled. I smiled thinking back about the things that had taken place.
And i just wondered how things could turn out this way.

Sometimes, when i look at the dates on smses or letters, and then take a look at the date today, it scares me. It scares me how things and people can change so fast. Just one week, and things changed. Whether it's the present or the past, it's just makes me feel this way.

Where were the assurance? The confidence? The promises? When you said 1 year, 2 year or even 4 years? When you said you know clearly what is it that you want. I still dont understand. How things can change within a day. Just one day is enough to change everything. Haha.

Anyway, I saw jonathan today working, and just one glance, i could sense his pain and hurt through his eyes which seemed watery.

And i asked myself, at this time when he needs someone, is anyone even there for him?
Why do people like to do things without sparing a thought for the ones around them? It reminded me of some shitty things. I told jeanine and hotcakes what happened last night, and they had nothing to say too.

I really dislike unreasonable people.
I never thought you'd be such a person, really.
But then, no matter how much i detest the way you talk or your actions, i can never bring myself to be mean and hurt people, or even hate that someone.

It's really true we will only see a real person's character until things get out of hand, doesnt it?

My head is pain from all the thinking.
I just hope, these feelings will leave me tmr.
And that tmr will be a better day :)

I still wished the return call came back, so i could talk to someone.

And i hope my sister gets well soon for cny celebrations.
I dont want her to be left at home.
Get well soon sis.

brianna
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