I have never felt this agitated for a long time.
And i really cant stand people behaving like this.
I want to keep calm, to maintain my cool and the language used.
But fuck man, i cant stand it.


Hello? You're 23, not 13. You've served your NS, shouldnt you at least be more matured than to act like this over such a matter? You want to talk about promises eh? Such a small promise you made, and you can tell desmond cos you already made this promise to come fetch me, you cant break it. Oh yea, was that even called a promise? Fine, i appreciate it. So tell me what about the promise you made about xinlong? This promise you made, this which you said was a promise, what about it?

I cant stand it. I cant stand the way you think about this issue.
Open your eyes and see. Have things changed?
If it changed, fine i've got nothing to say.
But look, it has always been like this since day 1.

You make me more and more agitated.
You make me feel disgusted.
And you're pissing me off if you dont know.
And dont make me hate you, cos i'm already starting to feel the hatred.


Maybe i shouldnt even have been nice to you in the first place. When you refused to listen to my words despite me repeating it over and over again, i should have just ignored and walked out of your life. And all these would not be happening. Fuck.

Whatever la, i think i have had enough and seriously, i dont want to give a fuck about it anymore. Continue thinking and acting the way you want, cos in the first place, i shouldnt hv bothered abt it. I just cant stand you being unfair to people who treats you as friends.

There's so much he's done for you silently.
Are you aware of it before you pass any remarks?


Sometimes.
People just cant feel the concern that people shower onto them.
Friends are not easy to come by, and 10 yrs of friendship is even harder to maintain.
So why end a friendship cos of a small matter?

I dont want this happening, maybe cos i have my regrets.
I ended friendships with people, and i claim i dont give a damn.

But still, i get reminded of them all the time.
We used to be so fine, happy with each other's company.
Why did things happen this way?

But when i think about the things i have done to maintain it, to mend the misunderstandings, and this is what i get, i tell myself it's worth giving up this so called friendship.


To you, i know you most probably wont be reading this anymore.
But maybe before you claim i have changed, ask yourself if you are any better.
When distance creeps in, did i send you smses asking how are things? And when there are no replies, did i send you emails and messages, asking you for your replies? No replies at all for months, and you claim i was the one who messed things up.


If that's what you deem it to be, i dont see why i should even explain anything. And this is the sole reason why i just decided to erase all of you from my contacts, not wanting to be in contact with any of you any longer, even the dearest i heart.


--
Because of what happened last night, i cried.
And because of this, i missed my dinner.
I should not have believed that you'd agree to the arrangement and should have just asked my dad to get me my dinner. Blame it on my foolishness.

And it totally spoilt my mood for the day.
Right now, i am feeling fucking hungry and pissed.
What a great day.


--
Despite not in the mood, i wish to say this to 3 girls.
Candy, Meili and Vanessa.

Happy twenty-first birthday.

brianna
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