Can anyone tell me how do you trust someone who have betrayed you before.
Or how can you not fear of the same thing that you wished didnt happen to happen again.

Though that person tries so hard to gain back that trust, doing things you wished were done in the past rather than now, i'm no longer feeling the way i'd hv felt back then.

I dont know if it's me who is being cold blooded, or is it cos of the umpteen times that such things had happened, that instilled the fear in me which i can never get rid of.

I met a friend recently, and she said i shld visit the psychiatrist.
I really think i shld.
Cos i myself feel, i'm a cold blooded creature.
My thinkings have changed, and i wonder if it's cos of the happenings, or it's cos of age and changes in perceptions.

I cant trust again though i try.
I cant find the need to put in any effort anymore.
I dont yearn for anything anymore, i no longer carry faith.
I'm totally different from what i was.
I'm just someone who no longer appreciates.

I hate myself.
I hate myself.

Betrayal and trust is just this thin line that shapes everything.
Really. It's everything.

And i dont need anyone's comment on this unless you really care.



thanks for being here when i'm feeling this sense of lonliness and loss.
you havent changed a single bit.
& i wish i cld turn back time, never to let anyone or anything ruin this friendship.

brianna
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